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other. We’re also a family not noted for our drama; my mom couldn’t tolerate drama! We still do holidays together sometimes, even though the kids’ grandparents are all gone now, one child lives 1200 miles away, and another child has married and is always included with his in-laws’ family. (My new spouse and I are always invited to the in-laws’ gatherings as well; it’s a huge and friendly crowd!) My kids are in their mid-30s now, and they’ve learned to make holidays a cooperative effort as well, despite having some of the most complicated family structures you can imagine. The point is to make it about happy memories for the kids and not a time/place to rehash old wrongs.
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For us, it is Christmas Eve. There are just two of Colorado Rockies Youth 2023 Vintage shirt, as we have no children. When we were first married, we always went to my parents’ house on Christmas Day. All of us (my parents, me, my husband, brothers, SIL, nieces, nephew) would open our gifts and then have a Christmas dinner. My husband and I started a tradition of having a Christmas Eve dinner together, just the two of us, and exchanging our gifts to each other after dinner. After a couple of years, we switched from a Baptist church to a Methodist church that has a Christmas Eve service (the Baptist church never had a service on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day unless one of those days happened to be Sunday). The pattern for Christmas Eve then became church, dinner, gifts (and, for some years, a second late evening church service). Meanwhile, my mother finally had to admit pulling off a Christmas dinner was too much, and we went to finger foods or sandwiches. Then she decided that getting everything wrapped and ready by the 25th was too hard, and my brother and his family kept arriving later and later every year because they would spend the afternoon at her mother’s house 120 miles away, so the family Christmas get-together got moved to the Saturday after Christmas, then to the Saturday after New Year’s, then to the second Saturday in January. Christmas Day itself became a non-event. We still keep our tradition of having our dinner and gift exchange on Christmas Eve, and of course, the church service is still that evening as well. Christmas Day is now just a nice day off from work to relax.
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